Day 54: Ouch!

Today. Was. Spectacular.

I felt amazing, all day. Full of energy. Excited to be on the next journey in my life.

I woke up at 6am, completely unprompted, because: I slept last night! Woohoo!

Jumped outta bed, took a shower and made this delicious breakfast sandwich for myself.

This little darling features a whole wheat English Muffin (100 cal) , 1/4 cup of eggbeaters (30 cal), 2 slices of pre-cooked bacon (35 cal), 1 TBSP the healthy butter stuff I bought, I can't remember what it's called (45 cal), 1/2 part skim Mozzarella (45 cal), olive oil spray, pepper and onion powder.

Only took about 4 minutes to make and tasted Great!

I did my Yoga meltdown (Ouch!) and got the kids up and moving. Cleaned the whole house, including the bathrooms (Yuck! I hate that), and mopping the floors, and worked on the laundry.

Then Noah and I sat down and both ate a banana (90 cal) for a snack!

More laundry, more train track building, more singing with Bri to Justin Beiber.

Lunch! 1 and 1/2 slices of left over pizza from yesterday (400 cal)!

Trampoline!!!

So much fun! Such a good work out. Craziness ensued, chasing, bouncing, tunnels, rolling, dinosaur game and one almost broken finger later = sweaty!

Apples and peanut butter (270 cal) for snack!

Laundry folding, some computer, Disney channel.

And Dinner!

Chicken with Salsa Verde on Fettuccine

First, I will admit. I did not use whole wheat pasta. I'm sorry, I won't do it. I have never found a brand that didn't remind me of chewing on my dad's slippers. But I did measure out exactly one serving of pasta for each of us. And that is tricky.

Because you see. The back of the pasta pack says 1 portion is 1/4 of the bag of pasta. However, the nutritional information clearly states that a serving is 1/8 of the bag. Which is 210 calories. 1/4 of the bag is 420 calories. Pretty drastic difference.

So anyways, I combined all the things you see above to make a salsa verde. Pan seared some chicken breasts in olive oil. Put the chicken on the pasta, put the verde stuff on the chicken. And made some Green giant Broccoli with cheese sauce. Before you judge, 1 serving or 1/3 of the bag is only 45 calories. It steams right in the bag, is delicious, and my kids will eat it.

This is my plate - but I couldn't eat it all. It wasn't exceptional, but it was alright. If I make it again, I'll tweak it some, but wanted to share with you - since you all have unknowingly become my accountability partners.

Oh, and I drank, like, an unholy amount of water today. I still have to pee. :D

Day 53: A toast to not having a heart attack at 35!

Today - I did it. I threw away every single item of junk food in our house. And went and spent an ungodly amount at the grocery store stocking up on yummy healthy snacks and meats and ingredients to cook better food.

Because Today, I choose to be healthy.

I bought a scale. Something I've always been against, because I hate the idea of dwelling on a number. But it's a necessary evil. Bri and I both weighed in. I was actually disgusted and pleased at the same time. I expected to be much higher then I actually was, so bonus. But still need to lose about 70 pounds-ish. Though my goal is not a number on a scale, it's clothes. My goal is to fit into really cute clothes. The side bonus is to be able to climb the mountains here like Camelback and Superstition.

So I worked out twice today. Which is my goal. One hour a day. Jillian in the morning for what I thought was going to be a yoga session. It turned out to be a kick your ass cardio workout that almost killed me. I felt a little weak all day, but good as I headed into Dancing with the Stars. We did a 30 minutes workout, learning the Jive and Swing. I didn't get 80% of it but certainly not for lack of 100% effort, and looked..and smelled... a little like I'd ran a marathon when I finished.

Bri and I went to the movies this afternoon. Packed our own healthy, measured out snacks, and managed to make it to our seats with only the purchase of a water bottle. So proud. When we got home, I made dinner. It was delicious!

I made tomato and Mozzarella Pizza.

Boboli Pizza crust, Olive oil, 1 cup part skim mozzarella, 2 plum tomatoes, black pepper, basil, and 3 slice of bacon.

Spread a little olive oil over the crust. I just sliced a few pieces of the Mozz cheese and stuck it on there, topped it was the tomato slices, and sprinkle with basil and pepper. I shredded up just a little bit of Mozzarella and threw it over the tomatoes. While it cooked for 8 minutes at 450, I microwaved 3 pieces of bacon and crumbled it up. Put it on top when the pizza was done, for some added flavor, and viola!

According to my cookbook, cut into 6 slices, each slice has 263 calories. Had it not been so late, I would have mixed up some spinach salad to go with it - would have been great!

Bri and I also sat down and made some signs for around the house to give us some encouragement. This is my favorite!

Day 52: Borders

Today was quite busy, and only some of it any fun. We dropped Bri off bright and early this morning,
went to the bank to deposit my tax return,
then went and got new insurance on my car (wayyy better price - always use Farmers!), stopped at Tammy's for a dirty diaper change (Thank you Noah for picking the most inopportune times to poop),
went and got my Emissions test (for you Wyomingites - we have to have our cars tested to make sure they don't put to much pollution into the air.),
then went and picked Bri up (She only has half days on Fridays, I really hate that),
Went to the mall to go to Borders book store and picked up these treasures:

If you have never read Skippyjon Jones, You really should take a moment and do that. They are so funny, they crack me up. Noah didn't seem too impressed but, well, he's hard to impress these days.

LOVE the cookbook, so far, I have found tons of recipes I want to try and already have the menu ready to go grocery shopping tomorrow!

And THEN, we went to Wal-mart because I wanted some kettle weights, a Yoga Dvd, and a grill. I had an amazing grill in Wyoming...perhaps I do miss that one thing. Lol. But I got a little one and a chair so I can sit out on the porch and watch the kids.

Next week is Bri's spirit week, so she was practicing for crazy hair day and wanted me to get a good picture. Weirdo.

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.

My kids, before they both got so complicated.

Day 51: It's halfway done

Day 04 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.

Enough Said. For me anyways.

I got 2 new tattoos today. It was all part of the plan. Because I will be covering the names on the tattoos I already have with vines from the Orchid, I wanted to get new tats for my kids. I had a basic idea - but Matt at Rat a Tat took it to a whole different level. They are both done, were a reasonable price and I LOVE them.

Unfortunately - they are pretty swollen and bleeding still some, along with the camera not wanting to not flash, I can't sure you the real brilliance, because the colors are outstanding. They didn't hurt much, but scared me a bit for the big one I'm getting on Tuesday. Still can't wait, though. Glad after all these years, I have found the courage to do what I want to do! :D

Day 50: Wordless Wednesday: My new tat design templates!

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

Day 49: Science Fair

Bri has started her science fair project. We are basically just doing a twist on the project we did last year. The idea is to see which French Fries have the most preservatives. So we bought four different fries, within 30 minutes of each other, brought them home and put them in bowls. The bowls are marked A, B, C, and D.

The Fries are from In & Out Burger, Jack in the Box, Weinerschnitzel, and Wendy's.

I thought this might be a Contest!! So - if you want to enter, leave me a comment here or on facebook, telling me in which order they will grow mold the fastest to the slowest. The person closest to correct, will receive an actual prize in the mail. It's a science contest!

Now - what you have all been waiting for! Exhibits A, B, and C of what my days are like.

Today, Noah picked up a screwdriver, threw it at Bri as hard as her could, and pegged her right in the head. She's got a pretty bruise to prove it. She cried, Noah screamed and the next hour and a half were complete meltdown mode. Noah refused to apologize, hit, punched, kicked, slammed the door on me...

So...a normal Tuesday.

The first video is just Noah. Being him. The second was taken 30 minutes into the meltdown, after he had trashed his room, threw everything off his shelves, and been spanked a few times for biting me. Just thought I'd give ya a glimpse!

Day 48: Manic Monday

Had I thought of it, I would have grabbed my video camera today. Because words can not explain what my days have been like lately.

Something is wrong with Noah. I know it, in my heart. Tammy knows it. Bri knows it. We all know it. More then the eczema. I mean, maybe it is the eczema, he is infected and itchy and bleeding all day. But I believe it's more then that.


He freaks out over things that make no sense, he screams horrifically at the smallest provocation, lacks any sort of self regulation, has fits of such strong anger that he can't stop hitting anything near him. He is angry, upset or unhappy about 80% of the time.

I have struggled to find the balance, to make him happy, for almost 2 years. I have lost a fiance, friends, and some days, my sanity because my son is too hard to handle. Some days, I feel like I can't do it. Like today.



I have googled Child Onset Bi Polar Disorder, ADHD, OCD, Mood Swings, etc. He definitely displays some OCD type behaviors, which many people that have watched him have noticed, he could have ADHD, but that is tough to diagnosis before the age of 8. COBPD is a possibility, but my mommy heart doesn't want to think about that yet.

There's a possibility of a sleep disorder. Which would cause the hellish moods and mood swings. I myself suffer from insomnia, sometimes very severely. Lack of sleep/exhaustion would definitely explain the irritability and lethargy.


But how could we tell? How would a doctor tell? Any problem we may have is buried so far under his ripped apart, bloody, rash we call his skin, that there is no way to even begin to find any thing else.

So here I am. A broken hearted, tired, frustrated mama, that loves her baby and feels like she can't help him.

By the way - these are just some pictures of my sweet, beautiful boy. Before he got sick.





Day 02 - A picture of the person you used to be close with.

This is Heather. She was my very best friend for several years. She is also my ex husband's sister. We grew apart as our lives took different turns. But every once in a while I think of her and appreciate all the times we spent together.