Failure

In the process of the day, I thought a lot about life and finishing things you start.

Growing up, I heard a lot about how stubborn I was. And it was never said in a good way. Just the word stubborn itself has such a negative connotation. As an adult, I've had many conversation about how I'm such a "black sheep" because I always have done things outside the accepted societal norms. Even when its ended very badly for me, I've followed my convictions and saw things through to the end. And taken a lot of criticism for it.

I could never understand why people think it is such a bad thing to fail. Why does failing have such a bad reputation. If you failed, at least that means your trying. Success is the product of failing enough times you finally get it right. Here are some examples from my life (Warning - these are extremely personal and gut wrenching to share - but blogs are supposed to be therapeutic, right?):

My son's biological father, Andrew, was here on a tourist visa, that I paid for. He was way younger then me, very immature and in a bad situation in life. I gave him everything, financially and emotionally. And then I gave up. It got hard, and I failed him. And maybe I failed Noah. But because of that failure, I grew as a person, as a mom, and as a significant other. Out of that failure, I learned and grew in ways I couldn't have even imagined.

I spent thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars moving to Denver and going to school to be a court reporter. I spent a year and a half in court reporting school, and ultimately, I failed. I failed, I quit, and I ended up back in Casper. Because of that failure, I realized that I needed to follow my heart and do what Ive always wanted to do. I went back to school and will be receiving a Bachelor's Degree in 4 days. That failure is why I succeed.

Failure is only a stepping stone. Failure is a stepping stone to better, to effort, to success.

On that note, seeing things through, committing to your convictions, and not giving up is the difference between being successful or being a true failure.

So here is my latest completion. Something I saw through and finished. Maybe not life changing or anything, but a realization that finishing something you start feels so incredibly good.