Lately...

Around me, I watch the world moving. I see people pushing strollers, people going to work, people constantly moving. Everyone seems to have a place to go...and often a deadline to get there. They don't stop, the world keeps on going...and I wonder where that leaves me. I am someone that never has been good at dealing with deadlines, and never really has to be anywhere anyways. Sure, I almost have my dream job - what one would call a "satisfying" or "rewarding" career in this world. And I'm almost always on time, almost always dependable.



But that doesn't make me feel less alone. I go to school every morning and talk to over a hundred people before the day is over. I laugh often, smile more, socialize to what we call acquaintances, and yet, never feel like more then a speck on a planet that doesn't care about my survival in the least. I struggle to fight off the loneliness that growls and snarls at my heels in even the largest crowd of people. I long to find "fakers" - people that live normal lives, people that go about their days because they know they have to, but inside feel like no one understands them. That inside you are someone that is different, creative, loud, funny, social, or anything else I didn't list, and yet, feel unappreciated by even those closest to you, those that should know you. That you can't even be who you really are.