We all make choices.
Little ones, big ones, choices that don't matter, choices that change everything, even choices that don't seem to matter but then end up changing everything.
It's easy to look at other people's choices and tell them what to do different. It's easy to see black and white and right and wrong when it doesn't affect you. In fact, some of the best advice has come from people that are far away from the situation, because often, they see it the clearest. The closer you are, the more fuzzy the choices become.
I've been thinking a lot about someone lately. I don't really know how to talk about it, because I know they read this and I don't want to offend. But basically, I think this person has wonderful intentions, I think they even believe that they do the best they can. But in reality, the choices they made didn't match the words they spoke. This ultimately hurt me. A lot. And I want to believe, I want to try again, but I can't make myself open my heart up quite right. Even as I sit here and wish things could be different, I can't believe they ever will be.
And I think about those choices that that person made. And how much it hurt me. And how they still don't realize how much it hurt me.
But it's easy for me to sit here and judge their choices. Because I'm me and not them. And maybe I need to cut people more slack, maybe we all do.
Anyways, I sort of went on a tangent, because its been on my mind.
The real point is that I'm struggling with this choice I am making. I have 6 days left. And it will be over. The choice will be made and it will be a permanent choice. No going back, no changing my mind, once it's over, it's over.
This nagging feeling in my heart is getting stronger. The voice from my heart telling me not to do it is getting louder.
But my head...the logical part...knows what the right thing to do is. And because I have vowed to make smart choices, choices that do good for my babies, I will listen to my head instead of my heart. And I will make the choice that's right for the 2 people in the world that depend solely on me. Even if the selfish me cries out against it.
Little ones, big ones, choices that don't matter, choices that change everything, even choices that don't seem to matter but then end up changing everything.
It's easy to look at other people's choices and tell them what to do different. It's easy to see black and white and right and wrong when it doesn't affect you. In fact, some of the best advice has come from people that are far away from the situation, because often, they see it the clearest. The closer you are, the more fuzzy the choices become.
I've been thinking a lot about someone lately. I don't really know how to talk about it, because I know they read this and I don't want to offend. But basically, I think this person has wonderful intentions, I think they even believe that they do the best they can. But in reality, the choices they made didn't match the words they spoke. This ultimately hurt me. A lot. And I want to believe, I want to try again, but I can't make myself open my heart up quite right. Even as I sit here and wish things could be different, I can't believe they ever will be.
And I think about those choices that that person made. And how much it hurt me. And how they still don't realize how much it hurt me.
But it's easy for me to sit here and judge their choices. Because I'm me and not them. And maybe I need to cut people more slack, maybe we all do.
Anyways, I sort of went on a tangent, because its been on my mind.
The real point is that I'm struggling with this choice I am making. I have 6 days left. And it will be over. The choice will be made and it will be a permanent choice. No going back, no changing my mind, once it's over, it's over.
This nagging feeling in my heart is getting stronger. The voice from my heart telling me not to do it is getting louder.
But my head...the logical part...knows what the right thing to do is. And because I have vowed to make smart choices, choices that do good for my babies, I will listen to my head instead of my heart. And I will make the choice that's right for the 2 people in the world that depend solely on me. Even if the selfish me cries out against it.
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