(These are obviously not my pictures - I just like them. I give google image the credit)
So the last couple days, I've been having this weird, brief facebook conversation with some girl I've never met.
Weirdly, it's sort of made me think about some things.
I used to ask K all the time about eternity and what would happen after he died. And it bothered me very much that he didn't really care. I would passionately argue about his eternity in hell and he would just look at me and say, "eh". That used to break my ultra religious heart. I couldn't "save" him, no matter how passionately and convincingly I relayed my message. I could not understand why it didn't bother him, at all.
And today, I figured it out.
The thing is - no matter how persuasively someone argues or discusses their opinion or beliefs, if you don't believe in it - their belief in their afterlife just doesn't matter. If hell doesn't exist in your belief, then no matter how much someone talks about it, it isn't scary. There is nothing scary about it.
One of the comments said to me (I'm cliff noting here because I'm too tired or lazy to go get the exact quote) was "Laugh now because there's no laughing in hell" or something like that. And for some reason, this struck me as such an absurd and funny thing to say. Of course I'll laugh now, that's what living is about. Laughing often, loving, caring, joking, smiling, coping, surviving, enjoying. Because this is it. This is the life you have. So why would you not make the most of it?
Hell doesn't scare me, because I adamantly do not believe it is there. That is why all of my passionate christian arguments didn't matter to K. If you don't believe something, it doesn't upset or bother you to think about. But you know, every once in a while, I wonder if maybe I've just..."backslidden", if maybe I do still believe in god and the bible and I'm just...angry and frustrated at religious people. I sometimes wonder if some day I'll go back to it. Today was one of those defining moments, where you realize who you've become, where you accept who you are. Where you have peace about your decisions. So thank you, random facebook/religious extremist. For helping me realize I'm right where I want to be.
Weirdly, it's sort of made me think about some things.
I used to ask K all the time about eternity and what would happen after he died. And it bothered me very much that he didn't really care. I would passionately argue about his eternity in hell and he would just look at me and say, "eh". That used to break my ultra religious heart. I couldn't "save" him, no matter how passionately and convincingly I relayed my message. I could not understand why it didn't bother him, at all.
And today, I figured it out.The thing is - no matter how persuasively someone argues or discusses their opinion or beliefs, if you don't believe in it - their belief in their afterlife just doesn't matter. If hell doesn't exist in your belief, then no matter how much someone talks about it, it isn't scary. There is nothing scary about it.
One of the comments said to me (I'm cliff noting here because I'm too tired or lazy to go get the exact quote) was "Laugh now because there's no laughing in hell" or something like that. And for some reason, this struck me as such an absurd and funny thing to say. Of course I'll laugh now, that's what living is about. Laughing often, loving, caring, joking, smiling, coping, surviving, enjoying. Because this is it. This is the life you have. So why would you not make the most of it?
Hell doesn't scare me, because I adamantly do not believe it is there. That is why all of my passionate christian arguments didn't matter to K. If you don't believe something, it doesn't upset or bother you to think about. But you know, every once in a while, I wonder if maybe I've just..."backslidden", if maybe I do still believe in god and the bible and I'm just...angry and frustrated at religious people. I sometimes wonder if some day I'll go back to it. Today was one of those defining moments, where you realize who you've become, where you accept who you are. Where you have peace about your decisions. So thank you, random facebook/religious extremist. For helping me realize I'm right where I want to be.
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