Day 78: Noah's 3!

Certainly not an easy pregnancy, he was an unplanned, not especially welcomed surprise.

I was quite content being a single parent to a little girl that was about to begin Kindergarten. But to be a single parent of two - with no real help and to a boy no less. Yea, I was not excited.

Being pregnant with him was awesome, it included excruciating heartburn, morning sickness every single day for the entire time, bed rest, high blood pressure and too small so I ended up going 3 weeks passed my due date.

Finally, my doctor decided to induce, when my blood pressure got to high. Even as I was getting hooked up to the pectocin (sp?) IV, I was scared and worried that I'd never be able to love this baby as much as I loved my daughter. That I couldn't raise a boy. I even had made a phone call about adoption. I was seriously afraid. And felt like no one understood how true and real I felt about that.

But only a few hours later, I was holding this:

And he was beautiful. And perfect. And so tiny and fragile. He was everything. My world stopped, my heart grew bigger. And I was instantly and irrevocably in love with this little boy.

His name is Noah.

Noah's eyes are the color of milk chocolate, so smooth and bright. His smile lights up the room, the world.

He never slept, thrived on us laughing at him, and has always driven me a little crazy.

His short life has been riddled with medical problems, he's been miserable and tired and itchy for almost all of it.

But yet, still finds a way to make me love him more every single day.

I didn't think I could love him. And now, I can't imagine my life without him.

He is still moody, still never sleeps and still has medical problem and after medical problem.

But wouldn't trade a single minute of my life. Being his mommy has made me a better person, a better human. The desire to be better, to make his life better drives every decision, every choice I make.

I go out of my way to make him laugh. Because his laugh is magical. His laugh is contagious. His laugh makes the sun and stars shine.

And today, this amazing, beautiful, funny, special little boy turned 3. My little boy, our baby Noah, the star in my sky is 3. And today, I utter a little request into the universe that his life will continue to be filled with people that love him, with smiles and laughter, with all the things that will make him a successful, happy fulfilled young man.

And maybe, maybe if the universe would be so kind, a cure for his eczema.

Happy Happy Birthday to a One of a Kind, amazing little man.