Starting a new relationship as a single mom is hard.There are so many questions and concerns and worries and wondering.
Will the kids like him? Will he like them? Are we going to agree on parenting styles? Do I let my kids even get attached again?
It's a crap shoot, ya know?
If you risk it and end up not working out, they kids get hurt. But if you don't risk it, you end up alone.
And since I have previously risked it and hurt my kids, I fear even more then I used to.
But then the first thing Noah asked me this morning, after doing a thorough sweep of the house, was, "Where's Eff?"
Then the last thing he said tonight before bed was, "Night Eff, Love you"
And I then realize, I have to risk it. Because my kids deserve more then just me. Because I deserve more then just me.
And I'm scared...because it's not perfect and because I was crushed last time I tried. But I also know that I am not the same person I was then, and he is not the person that hurt me. There's going to be challenges and that's okay. Because that's life.
Right now, Jeff "Eff" went home for the night, the kids are in bed sleeping and I am left with my own worries and self doubts. But I know that I am changing and healing, and that no matter what we will be okay. And right now, that is enough for me.
It's a crap shoot, ya know?
If you risk it and end up not working out, they kids get hurt. But if you don't risk it, you end up alone.
And since I have previously risked it and hurt my kids, I fear even more then I used to.
But then the first thing Noah asked me this morning, after doing a thorough sweep of the house, was, "Where's Eff?"
Then the last thing he said tonight before bed was, "Night Eff, Love you"
And I then realize, I have to risk it. Because my kids deserve more then just me. Because I deserve more then just me.
And I'm scared...because it's not perfect and because I was crushed last time I tried. But I also know that I am not the same person I was then, and he is not the person that hurt me. There's going to be challenges and that's okay. Because that's life.
Right now, Jeff "Eff" went home for the night, the kids are in bed sleeping and I am left with my own worries and self doubts. But I know that I am changing and healing, and that no matter what we will be okay. And right now, that is enough for me.
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